Adaptation and Evolution

Adapt or die. In my case it may be better put as adapt and die. This holds true for us all. We can adapt all we want and we are still going to die. For me, the adaptation is slightly more urgent and the dying part exists on a sliding scale with little control. I hear used and I use myself the cliche term "it is what it is", all too often. Now I realize the term carries about as much relevance as "God works in mysterious ways". Neither do me any good and both dismiss the mindset that adaptation through free thought or will as fruitless. To me, fate is what you make of it and nothing more. The notion that my life, past, present or future, has been, is or will be pre-determined by any source is ludicrous. It doesn't take Darwinian theory to comprehend the evolution of the mind. We all, whether afflicted or not, evolve internally, rationally and behaviorally. The generally accepted term that evolution is blind, traveling a path of existence or extinction works as well in the micro world as in the macro. We change our minds continually, we progress through the various environs of our lives dealing with influences that shape our psyche, that form our personalities, that develop our persona. How we adapt to the various challenges presented determine our survival. If our course is embedded with elements of pre-determination or fate, our decisions are weighted with the futility of our lack of control, and our resolve is diminished as a result.
I know things happen for a reason, but the reason need not make any sense and certainly need not be fair. I'm certain I did not contract ALS for any reason other than chance. Likely my odds were elevated due to a complex combination of circumstances, but given these conditions, I could well have never picked up the disease. My situation is unfortunate, but it makes no sense to me that I was "fated" to find myself afflicted or that "someone" worked a mystery upon me that will be revealed to make sense at a later date or another existence. It is ridiculous to believe for an instant that God plucks the wings from an occasional fly, or gives ALS to an occasional guy and the justification of such acts is as weak as "He has a plan". Save me from this kind of reasoning. Remember- God didn't give me ALS. We needn't credit him with human calamity and try to justify his reasoning- we create our own calamity. We must solve our own problems. We follow our own evolutionary process and it will travel it's course toward continued existence or extinction. We are at the helm of our own ship traveling to our own destiny. God may have put us into the water, but we steer our own course.
Apologies for my diatribe- I probably have more time to think about this stuff than most readers. Many people feel they have made up their minds about existence. I forever search. Many people limit their study to information supporting their beliefs. I do not. Many people feel they know the real "truth". I do not. Truth as a term is the most "subjective" subject in the universe. No two are alike. We all search for the truth and we never find any "one" universally accepted version.
In case you didn't know, I have ALS. 50% of us don't last 3 years. I expect to be joining with the other 50% and hanging around awhile to harangue readers with my haranguing. Assume that over time I will provide varying accounts related to my experiences with folks who claim to have the way to cure me. Also expect blunt, to the point assessments of their strategies, their presentments, their success rates and their shortcomings. While I certainly appreciate all the advice I've received so far, I have yet to find any direct correlation between the advice and a cure. I continue to study what I can. Those who put their faith in whatever notion they possess must realize the faith must be in me. I have faith, to be sure, but my faith lacks the encumbrances or complications of most, and is likely sprinkled more heavily with statistics than with hope.
Contrary to what you may think, this is not a downer post for me. I am beginning to weed out the peripheral clutter in my life that induces confusion and indecision. I am beginning to see the tunnel, if not the light. I know where I'm walking and I can explore my path with my new vision. Indecision for me is worse than a wrong decision. Indecision gets me exactly nowhere. Indecision leads to apathy. Fear. I am not afraid of dying. I fear nothing on the account of death. I don't want it, ever, but I long ago made peace with myself. I owe no more than this. I will never accept death, and my history proves it's hard as hell to kill me, so I see myself traveling this road for years.
I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers and support for me, and I hope your outpouring is as medicinal for you as for myself. If you believe in the energy, in whatever form, maybe I can glean some it's power, but by and large, I'm walking alone down that tunnel, and whether I see the light at the end will ultimately be up to chance.