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Thursday, August 22, 2013

What DO I mean?

When I come to a crossroad I treat it like a roundabout, circling in search of the least resistant path rather than turning down the hardscrabble dirt trail leading to healing. I expend all my energy warding off depression and fear, leaving nothing for mending, nothing for recuperation. Amy must carry the weight of my mind as well as my body. I cannot discount the enormity of her task.
      At a time past I elaborated upon my lack of fear. Today I must admit that fear plays a roll in my mind.
      I fear not dying, languishing and diminishing instead, destroying Amy in the process, draining accounts with my needs, failing to sever my ties to life........ Just melting away yet never quite succeeding. Lingering.
      Enough negativity. I continue to hope that we can kill the monster in the room. To date, we have slowed it down with lasers, magnets, infrared and determination.
     I need to end this post in a unique way, so I will add a couple silly stories I put together for my grandsons, primarily Alex. They are full of errors, but they translate well through my speak program. Enjoy or ignore.           
     Alex came home on the last day of school carrying a megalopolus 183 snot gun and walked into his house looking for somebody to glop. Isaac and B were goofing around in front of the TV until they saw Alex. B picked up Isaac and ran out of the room before he could get off a shot. Grandpa came down the ramp from his bedroom just as alex swung the megalopolus 183 snot gun to the left and pulled the trigger. The gun started glugging and tooting and burping and belching. Then it just exploded in Alex's face, six pounds of industrial snot covered his head. Grandpa laughed so hard he peed his pants and tooted so loud it scared some pee out of Murphy. Alex's mom had snuck in behind him and laughed so hard she peed her pants. B and Isaac came back and saw Alex and B peed her pants. Isaac laughed but had already pooped his pants.                   
     The most marbles Alex could fit in his mouth was 131, so he jammed two into each nostril and one into each ear, one under his chin, two under each arm, tickling his pits, a handful found its way into his underpants, and when he discovered room where his hiney hid, he dumped a hundred back there.
     It was hard to Walk with all those marbles sliding around, especially the ones in his underpants, and those in his nose felt like giant boogers. Sitting down was out of the question with 100 marbles rolling around his hiney.
    Alex waddled into the living room with over 200 marbles stuffed into every spot he could think of with the idea of showing his mom. She sat on the couch and when alex came in he tried not to smile but couldn't help it and a dozen marbles popped from between his lips which caused him to laugh, dumping a dozen more out of his mouth. Then he sneezed. The two marbles in each nostrils became bullets shot from a nose gun, breaking a glass on the end table and knocking the remote out the window and into the pool. The sneeze started a chain reaction that ended in a toot so powerful as to rip a hole in Alex's underpants, sending 100 marbles 100 miles an hour into the side of the refrigerator, blasting a hole so big that a Watermelon fell out and smooshed on the floor. The rest of Alex's marbles fell to the floor and were lost under the couch along with the marbles in Alex's head. His mom chuckled and checked her facebook.

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