Happy Anniversary

Today marks the first year anniversary of this blog. I had no idea at the time that I would even continue it for more than a month and I certainly had no idea I could be so wordy. As of this writing, I have had over 50,000 views, have written over 100,000 words and have had views in 72 countries. For some strange reason, Russia falls into second place behind the USA. 

It has been some months now since I've said anything about what we're really doing to combat this disease. That's likely because I'm not really sure about what I'm doing at this point. I'm on drugs to level my mood, to control my diabetes, to lessen my spasms, and to relieve pain in my right shoulder. I'm also on a blood thinner to prevent blood clots that would give me problems like I had New Years Eve.  Despite all these drugs, whenever I wake, whether it be in the morning or after a nap, I find myself somewhat paralyzed until I put out a monumental effort to relax myself. Before that, my hands are claws and my ever-lengthening fingernails dig into my palms. When I had this problem with my left hand only, I could use my right to pry my fingers straight and pry my thumb away from my hand. Now both hands react the same way and the task is more difficult. I have begun physical therapy on my right shoulder to increase my presently minimal range of movement in an effort to push the pain away. 

To be honest, I can't say that I have not had some improvements in some aspects of the disease.  When I concentrate in some instances I can stand up without help. This action was considered revelatory to begin with.  I'm not so sure it's as significant as I thought. I'm sure to take some shit for this statement. Sometime within the next couple weeks, I get my new chair, a Permobil Power Chair similar to the one I'm borrowing from the MDA.  Hopefully soon thereafter I'll receive my eyegaze computer. I've already qualified through Medicare for both and our supplemental insurance will pick up whatever Medicare doesn't pay. It's somewhat discouraging that all of these devices are relatively easily paid for by insurance. I guess ALS has its advantages. 

In earlier posts I had mentioned a book that I had been reading called "The Healing Codes." I'm still reading. I feel bad for Amy because I just can't get myself to plow through repetition even though I'm aware that it may be a way to combat this disease.  Both she and Rachel have finished the book and learned the methods that may help me. Essentially, the concept revolves around dealing with negative images and destructive cellular memories, putting positive experiences into play that could help clarify the responsibilities of the subconscious and to put it on the right track, prior to ALS.  Hopefully some of this will get through my thick skull and help me relieve myself of my burden. 

Soon, I will be spending a day with a hypnotherapist in order to delve into my past and try to find an identifying event that may have started all of this stuff in motion. She specializes in past life regression, something I have a hard time swallowing. If I were to even consider information from the past through other lives, the only way I could see it as even minimally possible would be if information or memory could somehow be drawn from DNA past down from generation to generation. Maybe I'll get a clue from an old uncle or great-great-great grandfather.  Please don't judge, that's been my job my whole life, and I think I've been pretty good at it. Anyone reading this can be a skeptic- I don't have that luxury. 

I need to finish this post by saying that it is really great that Rachel can type this for me, but I will also say that I have difficulty dredging my brain for the obscure and insane posts that have been found previous. Prior to my having her type for me, I could labor over the keyboard, the thoughts and odd literature could fall out of my head like a rain from the sky, whereas now, my musings are an impaction within a tooth in my jaw, cemented to bone, and absolutely obdurate, better yet, patient, waiting for that eye gaze to extract all the shit.  

I am as strange today as I was the day I started writing these posts, I just need to get back to the means of expression, the sloth-like production, the effortless spew that I've always enjoyed. Be patient with me until then while I write like any other idiot who writes, sorry to say because I have a proxy typist