I have yet to find a way to cope with the redundant discovery each morning that I not only have ALS but that its progress is evident and measurable. Prior to recent developments my ability to physically function has been severely limited. Now I am finding those limitations devolving into impossibilities. My communication skills, both oral and inter muscular- brain to speech, brain to voluntary action- are grinding to a halt. My cognitive skills, typical in ALS cases, remain intact. I guess I'm happy with that, though sometimes I might be better off if my senses and cognition were dulled on those "bad" days.
Using visual description, I slump more, my left arm is soft, most muscle tone and definition long gone. My left hand curls up without restraint and the web between my thumb and index finger is hollow and without muscle or function. My curled fingers constantly sweat because I lack the ability to occasionally separate them. It has, for several months now, been impossible to offer a palm up gesture. If my left forearm were forcibly turned in such a manner I have no doubt the result would be a spiral fracture. I have never broken a bone but if I fell on my left side I am sure my arm would shatter into a million pieces. My right arm is tracking in the footsteps of my left. I cannot rotate my wrist "palm up" and lack the strength to lift a coffee cup without it listing to the left. As is obvious, I can still pluck at a keyboard, but I can rarely left click my mouse without right clicking as I lose independent finger function.
I usually end my posts with a clever notion or upbeat manner. I'll try to do that next time.
Using visual description, I slump more, my left arm is soft, most muscle tone and definition long gone. My left hand curls up without restraint and the web between my thumb and index finger is hollow and without muscle or function. My curled fingers constantly sweat because I lack the ability to occasionally separate them. It has, for several months now, been impossible to offer a palm up gesture. If my left forearm were forcibly turned in such a manner I have no doubt the result would be a spiral fracture. I have never broken a bone but if I fell on my left side I am sure my arm would shatter into a million pieces. My right arm is tracking in the footsteps of my left. I cannot rotate my wrist "palm up" and lack the strength to lift a coffee cup without it listing to the left. As is obvious, I can still pluck at a keyboard, but I can rarely left click my mouse without right clicking as I lose independent finger function.
I usually end my posts with a clever notion or upbeat manner. I'll try to do that next time.
Sorry Tracy, it sounds like today is a bad day. I hope tomorrow brings an equally happy distraction. I do know that you have an entire household full of happy distractions to pull you out of your funk. Maybe today sounds like the perfect day to load up and take a long drive to nowhere in particular.
ReplyDeletesorry you are having a bad one my friend. I will share a little information that hopefully will allow you to crack a smile: on Saturday,I had 18 students test at Mr.Kim's,including 6 Bo-Dan's and 1 for 2nd. Black. everything was going well when we started breaking (Dan's daughter Lindsey tested for her 4th also). I insisted on holding for all of my own students as I am sure you would. One by one they went until one of my 2nd Red;'s did a flying hammer fist;he not only smashed the board,but came right down on the bridge of my nose! you know when you get popped in the nose,the tears start right away. then Mr. Kim told me I was bleeding,apparently he also hit my glasses frame into my nose. I was cool,but Mr. Kim insisted Dan take my and put neo sporin on it,we went into the office and I told Dan I did not want any crap on it and went out and finished the breaking. nothing broken,but it does sting a little.
ReplyDelete