We found a leaf blower, similar to my relic, brought it back to the house and corded it up with the thought, most assuredly, that I could lay it on my lap, switch it on and blow leaves and debris to parts elsewhere. Not a chance. First of all, never set a leaf blower on your lap. Why? Think about it. A blower capable of pushing air at a velocity of 235 mph has to get the stuff from somewhere. It so happens that the air is sucked into the bottom of the unit. Get my drift? It had apparently slipped my logic that leaf blowers "suck". Result? No suck, no blow. I write this with a straight face.
So the experiment altered, whereby I ran a strap over my shoulder and through the handle, allowing the blower to sling lower between my legs, freeing the intake from the crotch of my pants. Rachel managed to twist my left wrist and unclench my fingers long enough for them to snap back around the blower grip, giving me little movement but lots of rigor control, freeing up my right to toggle my Jazzy.
Moving into a headwind, I blew and rolled until every inch of me was covered in yard flotsum. Rachel unstrapped the blower, unclenched my death grip and turned the unit on me. All my progress, clinging to my body, was neatly blown back in place, providing no evidence I had ever been there. I need to delegate more....everything.
So the experiment altered, whereby I ran a strap over my shoulder and through the handle, allowing the blower to sling lower between my legs, freeing the intake from the crotch of my pants. Rachel managed to twist my left wrist and unclench my fingers long enough for them to snap back around the blower grip, giving me little movement but lots of rigor control, freeing up my right to toggle my Jazzy.
Moving into a headwind, I blew and rolled until every inch of me was covered in yard flotsum. Rachel unstrapped the blower, unclenched my death grip and turned the unit on me. All my progress, clinging to my body, was neatly blown back in place, providing no evidence I had ever been there. I need to delegate more....everything.
I beg to differ... that's why I had you turn around, so the direction I was dusting you off was also the direction you were sending said yard flotsum. There is still a definite dent in debris that you managed on your own. A situation I'm pretty happy about considering yard work is still not on my "favorites" list.
ReplyDeleteThat is histerical! The image that conjures up has me invisioning you as a tarred and feathered soul. I'm glad that you are getting more comfortable with your new digs. It has been absolutely beautiful here. We have broken a record for the last few days. It's been in the high 70's to low 80's. AMAZING!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGlad there was no damage to the nether region. Rough explaining THAT to the emergency room. "yeah, right buddy. You were leaf blowing"
ReplyDeleteah grasshopper,you must pluck the leaves from the air,perhaps dress in velcro?
ReplyDelete