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Thursday, November 12, 2015

Courage under Fire

I fully intended to share the roller coaster of Tracy's continuing journey and past in the same forth right blunt style my man had thrilled you with but the nitty and often very gritty details strangle the voice from my fingers.

The amount of courage it takes to spew honesty the pleasant and many not so pleasant twists and turns has eluded me for now.  I am so disappointed about that and hope to summon the courage it takes to tell his truth in a way that would make Tracy proud.

Tracy's "Gone Away Party" = Celebration of Life,  will be on Sunday.  As the day looms closer I have very mixed feelings as I have had emotional "mine" bombs (or should I say Mind Bombs) at surprisingly "miner" events which in hind sight I guess I should have seen coming while laughing joyfully through more obviously prickly productions.  So instead of flamboyantly dancing through the fields rejoicing Tracy's uniqueness I am beginning to hesitate, creeping like the impending victim in the horror flicks Tracy so loved.  That is so not ME! I say to myself...and yet, here I am.  The new Me yet undiscovered, Jack in the Boxing emotions and ideas to the events that are rolling at me with Tsunami like speed.  Hold on folks, we are in for a bumpy ride.  Looks like the PollyAmy personality in my Sybil has taken a back seat for now, projecting a new character.  I hope she is a strong one.

Ironically, now that I have gotten enough sleep to begin to function again. it keeps me from sleeping very well.   Another Zig to the ALS Zag.

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