Do I feel anything? I'm more aware of my surroundings than I ever was before ALS. Inwardly, I'm acutely aware of every itch, tweak, numbness, twitch, murmur, full bladder, intestinal gurgle, bowel activity, fasiculation.......
Flies. Often one lands on my long straw and crawls upward as I'm drinking. Flies land on my leg, my hand, my face..... I can't move enough to encourage them into flight. The tickling is terrible.
Mosquitoes : when I see them land, I'm witness to their blood fest. They stick, suck and turn crimson. I feel everything. Once, while I waited in the van, a mosquito lit upon my knee, engorged itself and popped.
Wasps : never stung yet. One landed on my nose and crawled across my mouth, pausing to investigate some spittle at the corner. I, of course, remained perfectly still and silent.
Birds : bird shit hit me. I didn't flinch.
I have no control issues. I never wear a diaper. No feeding tube. Bib? Yes. I'm unable to chew with my mouth closed. I can't spit. Drooling is purely gravity. I don't inhale fluids if I concentrate. My diaphragm is a pussy.
Commotion makes it almost impossible to eat, but ear splitting tv or music is no problem. Go figure.
People, kids or adults, crying or mad, upset me terribly. I'm more apt to cry than to laugh. I laugh at inappropriate times.
If it weren't for Amy, things would be bad. With her and family things are great. Better to live for a known future than to die and enter an unknown one.
Flies. Often one lands on my long straw and crawls upward as I'm drinking. Flies land on my leg, my hand, my face..... I can't move enough to encourage them into flight. The tickling is terrible.
Mosquitoes : when I see them land, I'm witness to their blood fest. They stick, suck and turn crimson. I feel everything. Once, while I waited in the van, a mosquito lit upon my knee, engorged itself and popped.
Wasps : never stung yet. One landed on my nose and crawled across my mouth, pausing to investigate some spittle at the corner. I, of course, remained perfectly still and silent.
Birds : bird shit hit me. I didn't flinch.
I have no control issues. I never wear a diaper. No feeding tube. Bib? Yes. I'm unable to chew with my mouth closed. I can't spit. Drooling is purely gravity. I don't inhale fluids if I concentrate. My diaphragm is a pussy.
Commotion makes it almost impossible to eat, but ear splitting tv or music is no problem. Go figure.
People, kids or adults, crying or mad, upset me terribly. I'm more apt to cry than to laugh. I laugh at inappropriate times.
If it weren't for Amy, things would be bad. With her and family things are great. Better to live for a known future than to die and enter an unknown one.
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