Is it really darkest before the light????

If I see a light, should I go into it? Should I recall and listen to that little lady in Poltergeist? Am I sure to make the right decision?

It most certainly isn't quite as dark as it can be. I have not finished my journey. The wheels of my cart are loose and wobbly but have yet to come off.  

I am road weary and my body will not cooperate as the days wear on and I wear out. I have never used a form of the word "wear" three times in one sentence without it sounding redundant- until now.

I am reading a book called The Healing Codes. Jury is still out, but for the first time in my life, I am going on faith. Don't try baptizing me yet. I'm reluctant to say when all else fails, but when all else has seemed to come up short, I need to release my judgments, my prejudice and my own beliefs so that I may embrace others. I'm beginning to understand that knowing it all falls flat when I fail to solve my own problems and is stomped upon when applied to the world at large. I cannot be released from ALS until I release the ever-insinuating  self destructive load of stress and responsibility I have burdened myself with for 40 years. Blame is useless. I may die soon, but given a few weeks I hope to come to terms with my disease. If this ALS holds me within it's grip and drags my otherwise healthy- albeit chubby- body along for the ride for years, maybe I'll have time to come to grips with my life. That, or the healing codes will cure my ass. I'm hoping for the latter.