OK, OK, OK..........................

I haven't been able to rise unaided- from a chair, a couch, a stool, bed- since November. Many times, Amy falls forward in her effort to pull me up because I not only out weigh her by about 90 lbs. but lack the strength and balance to propel myself vertical. I honestly believe this to be true today. If I put forth an effort equal to my determination- which is boundless- , using all the strength I can muster, I fail miserably. Evey time. I fail without fail. I lack the strength and balance to stand up. That's it. End of story.

Two days ago, Amy took me aside. She educated me in the difference between strength and energy. Indirectly, she introduced me to  Chi. Most everyone has heard of Chi yet very few know what it is, myself included. I dare say most of the population scoffs at the very concept. I saw it as something vague and unsubstantiated, maybe legitimate, maybe not.

Two days ago, Amy sat me down- of course I was already sitting, duh!- and told me I was capable of standing on my own. I balked, but I was soon compelled to listen to her- something I should do a lot more of. (bad grammar, shut up). She made me stare at her. I did. I always do. She's otherworldly. So I stared. She whisked her hands down my sides. She told me to relax, to draw energy from the Earth, to inhale deeply. I drew in and involuntarily yawned. She   told me to stand up. I stood up. Unaided. I stood, balanced and guardedly thrilled. I sat back down, confident, and tried to stand a second time. Using all my strength and determination led only to failure. Amy pointed out that my own energy wasn't enough. We repeated her method and I stood again. That night I stood up over 20 times without assistance. I woke up at 5am and made Amy get up to witness that the previous night had been no fluke. I stood. When we awoke some 4 hours later, I stood. Don't think its easy. In order to stand I must release, I must focus, I must breathe in energy. It is the only way. If I can draw from outside my body to stand up, what else might I accomplish? Might I find energy to beat ALS where my body's strengths fall short? 

So now I focus, I stand. On to my pesky hands , to other small hings, lopping the branches of ALS until the tree is dead, allowing me to uproot and walk away.