I'm going to tell you exactly what I think. While you read about everybody else, I read about myself. I may appear to disconnect by watching television or play on my computer, when in fact I find that my separation from introspection not only helps put things into proper perspective but allows me to relax my mind. With this method I can function without the blinders of obsession.
Every day I speak to my self. Every day I attempt to believe that ALS is nothing more than an arbitrary collection of symptoms brought on by a combination of events in my life that manifested as a collective destroyer of my body. Whether I cracked my head too often or my childhood was less than perfect or my adult life was fraught with stress has contributed as cause, the bare fact remains that this disease is PHYSICAL in nature. In my experience, no amount of quality nutrition or supplemental elixir is going to grow my muscles back when the motor neurons that caused them to function are dead. No amount of bio magnetic treatments have, despite a doctor's claim of otherwise, produced a single observable muscular improvement, despite over a year of dedication to the process. It does feel good, though.
Instead of determining whether a cup is half empty or half full, I focus on the question of why do we even consider the statement at all. We should ask ourselves why the glass is at half capacity in the first place. It's like being stabbed and debating whether the blade is half in or half out. The argument doesn't address the issue at hand. Consider this: while I do what I can to address my disease, the monster remains in the room, the knife remains inserted and my glass is missing fluid. Any assessment beyond that is irrelevant.
I'm aware that this is nothing more than a rehash of some previous post. I'm just stuck on the subject of this never ending gobstopper blog.
To be accurate, I've learned how to cope with my ever present monster. Without my support group I would never have known today. Or yesterday. Or this year. I'm still looking to kill the monster, but peripheral wounds just seem to piss it off. I've yet to find the heart of the beast. I'm not going to say "trying" because someone told me if I merely "try", my subconscious would wait until I "did"it to identify with the statement. So I won't try. Stupid? Yup. Anyway, I'll try it, which completes the circular reasoning that seems to be consuming my life.
Every day I speak to my self. Every day I attempt to believe that ALS is nothing more than an arbitrary collection of symptoms brought on by a combination of events in my life that manifested as a collective destroyer of my body. Whether I cracked my head too often or my childhood was less than perfect or my adult life was fraught with stress has contributed as cause, the bare fact remains that this disease is PHYSICAL in nature. In my experience, no amount of quality nutrition or supplemental elixir is going to grow my muscles back when the motor neurons that caused them to function are dead. No amount of bio magnetic treatments have, despite a doctor's claim of otherwise, produced a single observable muscular improvement, despite over a year of dedication to the process. It does feel good, though.
Instead of determining whether a cup is half empty or half full, I focus on the question of why do we even consider the statement at all. We should ask ourselves why the glass is at half capacity in the first place. It's like being stabbed and debating whether the blade is half in or half out. The argument doesn't address the issue at hand. Consider this: while I do what I can to address my disease, the monster remains in the room, the knife remains inserted and my glass is missing fluid. Any assessment beyond that is irrelevant.
I'm aware that this is nothing more than a rehash of some previous post. I'm just stuck on the subject of this never ending gobstopper blog.
To be accurate, I've learned how to cope with my ever present monster. Without my support group I would never have known today. Or yesterday. Or this year. I'm still looking to kill the monster, but peripheral wounds just seem to piss it off. I've yet to find the heart of the beast. I'm not going to say "trying" because someone told me if I merely "try", my subconscious would wait until I "did"it to identify with the statement. So I won't try. Stupid? Yup. Anyway, I'll try it, which completes the circular reasoning that seems to be consuming my life.
Your heart is where you will find LOVE so there is no KILLING, only loving which is the key to befriending the monster so it will use it's strengths to help you instead of "miss" undertanding you, leading to both of your demise. Love is the answer.
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