ALS- what I can tell you.
This particular position applies only to me insomuch as only I can attest to the idiosyncrasies of my personal experiences. Much of this information is derived from "gut" instinct and has little to do with scientific conclusions. I cannot speak for others who find themselves in similar circumstance. They must make their own beds and draw their own conclusions.
Here it is : ALS is the boldest example of insidity. Is crawls inside and systematically destroys all practical functions, one after another, taking bite after bite from the psyche along the way, leaving behind its wake a tattered and beaten shell of a human being.
Or it doesn't.
Despite the physical evidence, I'm not that person. Even if I'm completely destroyed, it is not me, but my body. What I've determined to maintain is not body, but spirit. Looking at me is not enough. You must FEEL me. This is in no way to be confused with faith, or God, or afterlife. That is an entirely different conversation best left for another time. I'm talking internal shit here, not eternal. Huge difference. Huge! You'll have to wait for my explanation. Perhaps for a long time. Don't hold your breath.
I can't do much of anything, but thinking is not even close to the bullseye of my ALS focus, and as such has remained unscathed and unaffected, which Sarah just pointed out kinda sucks. She is both right and wrong, wrong as the sword lashes forward but right when the blade returns to cut the wielder as the double sided weapon provides the ultimate reality check of a clear mind within a wrecked frame.
So, it comes to this : I'm not going to live forever. Maybe infection will kill me this week. ALS is not capable of killing me without my help. In order to do so it must kill my spirit, and it is severely lacking in such skill. I'm determined not to relinquish my edge.
FYI- I don't have Lyme disease, liver problems, anything other than runofthemill issues related to my sedentary lifestyle. I know this to be true because I'm the best informed human on the planet when it comes to me. Bet on it.
This particular position applies only to me insomuch as only I can attest to the idiosyncrasies of my personal experiences. Much of this information is derived from "gut" instinct and has little to do with scientific conclusions. I cannot speak for others who find themselves in similar circumstance. They must make their own beds and draw their own conclusions.
Here it is : ALS is the boldest example of insidity. Is crawls inside and systematically destroys all practical functions, one after another, taking bite after bite from the psyche along the way, leaving behind its wake a tattered and beaten shell of a human being.
Or it doesn't.
Despite the physical evidence, I'm not that person. Even if I'm completely destroyed, it is not me, but my body. What I've determined to maintain is not body, but spirit. Looking at me is not enough. You must FEEL me. This is in no way to be confused with faith, or God, or afterlife. That is an entirely different conversation best left for another time. I'm talking internal shit here, not eternal. Huge difference. Huge! You'll have to wait for my explanation. Perhaps for a long time. Don't hold your breath.
I can't do much of anything, but thinking is not even close to the bullseye of my ALS focus, and as such has remained unscathed and unaffected, which Sarah just pointed out kinda sucks. She is both right and wrong, wrong as the sword lashes forward but right when the blade returns to cut the wielder as the double sided weapon provides the ultimate reality check of a clear mind within a wrecked frame.
So, it comes to this : I'm not going to live forever. Maybe infection will kill me this week. ALS is not capable of killing me without my help. In order to do so it must kill my spirit, and it is severely lacking in such skill. I'm determined not to relinquish my edge.
FYI- I don't have Lyme disease, liver problems, anything other than runofthemill issues related to my sedentary lifestyle. I know this to be true because I'm the best informed human on the planet when it comes to me. Bet on it.
Absolutely! You're Tracy no matter what..........keep that edge...it's one of the things we love about you.
ReplyDeleteBe safe you two on your trip back to these neck of the woods.......see, no, feel you soon.