The Dewie Effect

Yesterday I did things all day that I thought Tracy would love or love to do.

Today I went to a funeral- 

something Tracy would NOT do. 

Not even to his own.

Seriously.

He didn't want a funeral for himself.

Tracy never ever went to funerals with the exception of his mother's just a year before he died.

He hated the whole idea of sitting in the sadness and macabre details of the demise of a life.

Today I went to the funeral for Dewie Quortrup,

 another ALS angel who left the planet Oct 23rd.

It was heart breakingly beautiful.

As family, friends and caregivers spoke

each and everyone of them mentioned 

"The Dewie Effect".

This is the instant and overwhelming, 

undeniable feeling of

unconditional love

 you feel in her presence. 

She couldn't speak or move at all and yet- 

there it was.

I was absolutely stunned by the intensity

when I first met Dewie and couldn't help but

blurt out what I could feel but not explain.

Pete, her devoted husband, just grinned as he had heard this from Dewie fans around the world 

their whole life together.

He named my loss for words and explained that

I was not crazy or imagining it.

To hear person after person at the service

 expound on this intangible, magical mystery,

it validated so many things one tends to contemplate

when put in the position of widow or widower.

To be honest it was horrifying to me to see other ALSers

still on their journey, 

sitting in the audience, forced to watch

and imagine their own limited future.  

It's difficult to sit with friends who have themselves, 

lost their loved ones recently knowing the

deja vu of emotions being replayed when all I can

do is just let them know they aren't alone.

To listen to Pete elegantly and eloquently yet painfully convey all that Dewie was

and what we have all lost and will miss

 almost made me agree with Tracy- 

that this may NOT be the

best way to show support.

But there was also so much to be gained by sharing this day.

I felt so Lucky to be allowed to be there

to experience the deep love and commitment 

by those who willingly took on the challenges

of caring for someone with ALS. 

To hear each speaker glow about Dewie's smile

and vibrance and JOY in life up to her last day is

such a lesson to us all.

We are NOT alone in all this.

Love is NOT an intangible.

I went to GIVE my love and support

 knowing the challenges that lay ahead for the family, 

hoping to be helpful even if it was only in some

small way,

but once again,

I ended up receiving so much more than I gave.

 ~What I learned~

The best we can do in this life is to

continue to Share 

The Dewie Effect

with each person we meet so that 

they can experience the unconditional love

Dewie shared with us all.

This is called Living.