Today marks a year in Dallas. In two weeks it will have been two years since I was diagnosed with ALS by my friend, Dr. Pat Tracy. I still feel bad that he was the one who had to drop the bomb on me. Upon reflection, upon looking back, browsing through my earlier posts, I have discovered a glaring omission hiding within the folds of almost every written diatribe. Absent is something so obvious, so fundamental and so important that only a self absorbed, self centered fool with blinders installed (me) could fail to recognize it.
The simple truth (and it is really simple) is that I'm not alone with my ALS. I may carry the disease, but a world of others share my load. Certainly some more than the rest, to be sure, though any is significant and all should be recognized. And so, from here on forward I roll upon not only my own wagon but involved with a multitude of strengths forming a train of support, having just realized it has been there all along. I need to tell: my wife, Amy, is the first reason I am alive today, but she is not alone in selfless contribution. Sarah and Tim have welcomed us into their home and their lives without apprehension of the chaos created upon opening the door to grandparents. Rachel changed her life so she could be with us, going so far as to transplant to Dallas. Nick has spent a fortune traveling from Chicago on several occasions and is in contact almost daily. If I go into too much detail in crediting the hundreds of family and friends who have provided financial help, moral support, spiritual support, Christmas cards, birthday cards, emails and facebook correspondenses I would certainly forget many, so I say this: I don't plan to travel solo any more. Luckily, I have never been in this battle alone. It's about time I realized it.
The simple truth (and it is really simple) is that I'm not alone with my ALS. I may carry the disease, but a world of others share my load. Certainly some more than the rest, to be sure, though any is significant and all should be recognized. And so, from here on forward I roll upon not only my own wagon but involved with a multitude of strengths forming a train of support, having just realized it has been there all along. I need to tell: my wife, Amy, is the first reason I am alive today, but she is not alone in selfless contribution. Sarah and Tim have welcomed us into their home and their lives without apprehension of the chaos created upon opening the door to grandparents. Rachel changed her life so she could be with us, going so far as to transplant to Dallas. Nick has spent a fortune traveling from Chicago on several occasions and is in contact almost daily. If I go into too much detail in crediting the hundreds of family and friends who have provided financial help, moral support, spiritual support, Christmas cards, birthday cards, emails and facebook correspondenses I would certainly forget many, so I say this: I don't plan to travel solo any more. Luckily, I have never been in this battle alone. It's about time I realized it.
I'm sorry that you ever felt alone in this dad. We all love you and are with you every step of the way. You and mom are my hero's. Always will be.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
Rachel
Rachel is correct,you were NEVER alone,I am ALWAYS with you in spirit. as far as 'hero' both of you fit that simple description of what a loving couple is willing to do for each other during a time of despair and turmoil. I can only hope that I could be so strong as to take care of my family without thoughts of myself. I can only try to hope that I could be as brave as you to ALLOW my family to help care for me.
ReplyDeleteI fight for you every class,every time I get kicked in the legs,every time I get hit in the head, I grin and know you are with me!