Each day, close study

Some days, this day, I know I must write, however lately my mind whirls uncontrollably, inundated with profusions of confusions. Try as I may, I cannot channel Occam. Nothing is simple and no narrative can be spun with any kind of focus or propriety. Some days, this day, while words flow, content and relevance remain opaque and obscured. I can only hope to escape this conundrum and excrete even a modicum of sensibility with which to produce more than the sense of bullshit contained within this paragraph.

There we go. I don't usually post my start up psychosis, word calisthenics that appear, and are, meant to bounce around in my head until any sense can be grasped. I have never in my life been able to think so much. Most of my waking hours I spent time reacting- to situations, immediate scenarios, making decisions, choosing my directives for the day.......... None of which really requires much thinking. 

Now I have all the time in the world to think. I'm not too busy to ponder. The problem is, I am not built to ponder. I require methods and conclusions to my thought. While jumbles and jumbles of ideas and concepts bounce within my brain, my only interest is in those that have practical application. In the past, it was all I had time for.

Now I can grab at the nonsensical. Why? I don't know. Maybe this is how philosophers gather their material. Too much time on your hands? Sit down and think a lot and develop a philosophy. I might be able to break from my old patterns and adopt this idea, but I worry that nobody will have time to embrace my concepts as they deal with everyday life, very much as I did before ALS took it all away. 

So I conclude this post, still unable to identify the difference between deep thought and mental masturbation or good writing and literary masturbation, most times not really caring at all. I apologise for my lethargic pessimism- it's sizing up as one of those days.