To those who wanna know about me and Amy

I need to chop off the right arm of my wheel chair so I can type without constantly blamming my elbow into the rest. My only other option is to lift my right arm in a chicken wing motion, an option untenable at best. A solution determines the lifespan of this blog- or I can find another chair. Though you'd have no idea from your position, I just dumped an entire cup of coffee across my desk, narrowly missing my keyboard, (on a slide out shelf beneath the desktop) but saturating some paperwork, a couple cards, hitting on my ipad cover, floating my Otter protected iphone and generally soaking the entire area. A Penske cleanup crew dispatched the mess and I'm back at it, temporarily adjusting my keyboard until I can find a hacksaw or another chair.

Some readers have asked to hear how I met my wife. I shall oblige today.

I met Amy in high school, coming to know her as more than an acquaintance between sophomore and junior year. I began my pursuit while I was dating Cindy, (I'm using first names only- those involved know who they are), having hung with Donna, Vicki, Tammy and others prior. Amy was dating Dave, a swimmer, and I can now say that seeing her with him in any manner provided a catalyst for me to get what I wanted. Bizarre as it may seem, I'm still jealous of that guy and might occasionally fantasize an  encounter with him after which he would require reconstructive surgery. Of course all of that is ridiculous- they broke up as soon as I moved in on the situation- but still.............

That summer, 1974, everything that was to be my life became my life. My first encounter with Amy more intimate than a group hangout was at Lower Bradley Park in a pickup football game. You might ask how I came to know her and my answer would  be- Mary, Claire, Lori, (it was in Lori's basement, that first encounter, though she was with Dave and I was without) and others, friends to this day, some 38 years later. Anyway, the pickup game lived up to its moniker, considering I picked up my future bride, both physically and figuratively, that day. Apparently she was impressed that rather than tackling her, I carried her to the sideline. I can't say how, but I knew right then and there that she was the one.

After that day, I began to stalk her. She was still somewhat  involved in Dave- a factor I was aware of but ignored- when I started to visit her on a daily basis. I got to know her mom, who referred to me as Dave even though she knew my name. I was certain she knew exactly who I was as she played me and antagonized Amy. After many visits, I managed to infiltrate her mind- she broke up with Dave or he with her, some mutual thing. I, of course, failed to talk to my girlfriend, Cindy, more friend than anything else, a mistake that would  come to bite me in the ass a couple weeks later.

First date- first real date. Not my first, not her first, but our first. You would've thought I'd had better judgment when choosing our destinations. You wouldn't've thought that sweet, innocent, Catholic Amy would lie to me.

I had it all laid out. Saturday night, pizza and a movie. Should have been simple. I must have been in love already because I sure was blinded by something. Let me tell you how to impress a girl on the first date. We started off at a little pizza place in East Peoria, George's, where I asked my date what she liked on her pizza, her reply, (liar, I told you) was "anything, whatever you like", giving me the green light to order a large deluxe, loaded with sausage- she likes, pepperoni- she likes, onion- she hates, green pepper- she hates, mushroom- she hates, black olives- she hates and Coke- not her favorite. As a consequence, she didn't eat a single bite of pizza and though I can't really remember, I'd bet her Coke went untouched as well. I did my best to eat her share, drink her share. She was sweet and beautiful, hair past her waist and I think that day I fell in love with a liar.

My intention was to eat and head to the drive-in, in this case the Starlite in North Pekin, where they were showing, as part of my ill conceived plan, The Exorcist, and a B movie called Demons, which should more accurately have been called "Boobs and Fangs From the Planet Soft Porn". The Exorcist played first, then Demons, then The Exorcist again. My prior experiences with drive ins told me that the first flick would be hard to see at  dusk, so the plan was to watch Demons, then the late showing of Linda Blair and cast. Result: Demons at 11pm, Exorcist at 1am, my  first date home to her federal officer dad by 3:30am. Needless to say, during the movies, we had space enough for a car seat between us as I horrored at what she thought of me. I think I survived the night because Amy's dad couldn't find his pistol in the wee hours before daylight. Thank God. To be continued..............................................